I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
