Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
