we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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