He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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