Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
