i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
