u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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