fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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