Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize