You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
