you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We left the knife in your bed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
