TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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