VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
