my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize