how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
