We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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