just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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