I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
