how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
