he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
