Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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