You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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