Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
