Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
