Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
