Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
