I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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