Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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