She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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