OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
