if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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