i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
