People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
