I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
