Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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