Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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