what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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