they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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