I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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