Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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