singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
