I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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