and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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