Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
worst night to have a conscience
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
