If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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