First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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