if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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