I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize