We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Couch. On fire.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
