What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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