your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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