i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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