Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize