Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
