Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize