I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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