kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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