Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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