Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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