I want to make a zoo with you.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
